JIVE CAMP 2012 ended yesterday. Due to lack of sleep, I slept for 17 hours the moment I reached home till the very next day. This will be my second and last jive camp. I've gotta say that this year's camp was better and more fun! There were more good reviews and feedback than the bad ones. It was good to see all the SLs and GMs to be so bonded with each other. I've gotta say that the committee have done a good job and hope each one of you have a good rest.

It's been a long time since I had a good talk with my parents. Parents know you well. They know when you're happy and when you're having a tough time and they are the people who never fail to be there for you during your worst downturn. I apologize for all this while I've disappoint you Baba, Umi. I thank Allah for bestowing such an understanding parents to me. Despite disappointing you two, the both of you were still there to give me advice and be there for me. I felt a sign of relief after the talk we had. I shouldn't have lied in the first place. Love you Baba, Umi.

Just like how my parents felt the pinch when I lied to them, I felt the pinch when you lied. I know its just a small matter. Despite trying to keep cool about it because you have apologized, I am still disappointed. I tried not to make it a big deal that's why I didn't tell you how disappointed I still am. I don't know about you but I still remember we told each other "No secrets between us". & Try putting yourself in my shoe. I've tried my best not to hurt you ever again by my actions but have you ask yourself or realized if any of your small actions would hurt me? I bet you don't. I guess your tweet is right "Trying so hard not to hurt others will eventually lead to you hurting yourself". I bet you don't realize how afraid I am if I were to be replace. You don't know how that feels because I don't have a recent ex-boyfriend or a close friend who works nearby my working place whom I talk to often. Its pressurizing. But I tried to keep my head up high and tell myself "everything is going to be okay". I promise you and myself that I'm gonna make you happy and be there for you whenever you're feeling down, that's why I put my unhappiness aside even though I'm sad and disappointed at times and you don't know anything about it. You have no idea how afraid I am to lose you. You have no idea how much I really wanna grow old with you. You have no idea how much I really love you. You have no idea how much I feel like breaking down right now . . . :'(

I'll never be your mother's favorite, Your daddy can't even look me in the eyes. 

Now, all I need is strength. It's not easy going through each day with these thoughts running in my mind. Probably, this is my Karma. This is what I deserve. Ya Allah, please ease and sooth the pain in my heart.

Its been 2 months plus since I last update.

Apparently I've been too busy with school and such. I hardly have time to blog.

Yesterday marks the last day of Year 2 Semester 1. This class I must say consist of lots of nice, caring and helpful bunch of people. Definitely gonna miss people like Edmund, Kym, Emma, Chomel, Felicia, Syaf, Fredrick, Ernie, Cheryl and many more. Thank you for making this sem a pleasant one. It was good to be able to work with you guys, crack jokes and many more. Hopefully we'll meet again :)

19th of August marks the 1st of Syawal. Alhamdulilah. We meet again Syawal. Im thankful that I am still able to celebrate with my loved ones. And this time round, for this year's syawal, we welcome 3 new members to Daud's Family. Mami Ain, Rizwan and the new born baby Erik :)

Tomorrow, the 23rd of August, marks the 5th month of our friendship. Honestly, Its been a tough journey for the both of us. I never thought I manage to pull it through. But, Alhamdulilah, I did. I never thought you would mean so much to me when I first know you. You've been my strength, my weakness, my pillar of support, my happiness and part of my life. I want to be with you, to grow old with you. Even if it takes 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years or more, for us to be officially together, I will wait. If we're meant to be together, insyallah we will be. I love you Aizan :)

I don't know where our friendship is going or heading to. All I'm hoping for is for the best for us now.
I'm leaving it all in God's hands. I know at times I can be very selfish. I only think about myself and not what you're facing. I know in this kind of situation I should understand you. I'm sorry.

I came across this in twitter today " It takes time, patience, & dedication to get into a #Capricorn's heart but once your there it's permanent." and I guess its true. You're all I think about day and night and I don't know how to deal with myself without you. We may not be attached together, but you're always there in my heart. Always.

Its always sad whenever I think of what is gonna happen between us. I wish things are not as complicated as it is but I guess patience and strength is all I need to keep me going. Its sad to hear about how your Dad treats you ever since the incident.

I know you still love her, and I'm no where up to her standard neither am I special like her. I understand. Like I said, I'm leaving all in God's hand now but leaving you is never in my option. No matter how sad I am sometimes, I just wanna look and be happy infront of you, A :')

You know, not everyone can please you easily. However, I do know a friend who can cheer me up instantly even during my worst downturn. Someone who cares so much. Someone I'm truly blessed to know. :')

And I believe he's a special friend that his absence can make a real impact on me.

Who would text me instantly after reading my emotional tweets? Who would keep forcing me to eat? Who would talk to me almost everyday? Who would cry for our friendship? Who would hide his sadness and care about mine more? Who could entertain me with his never ending jokes? Yes, he will.

Sadly, I think I have make things tough for him a lot of times that sometimes i feel that i don't deserve all that from him.

I don't what am I experiencing or what am I feeling, but he's really special to me :')

It sadden me every time I think about this. I really miss you but there's nothing that I can do about it. I cant be selfish. :'( I act like I dont care sometimes, but the truth is, I really care. Honestly, Noone can make me feel happy just like how you did. :'(

They said when words cant explain, music will.

Its been more than a month and here i am finally updating my blog again. Lots of things have happened.

Let's start off with school. Yes, I couldn't escape from reality. Year 2 started on 17Th of April. New classmates, new modules, new facilitators, new different classes, but still the same school of course. Apparently, my thoughts were wrong. I thought year 2 seems fine. Hell no. I can foresee a stressing and tiring year for me. Moreover, with the upcoming events in Jive, I will be more busy. Despite all those, I shall continue to work hard and achieve a better GPA, of course. It's also sad to find out a few friends being dismissed from school and etc. After all those bonds we made, it end just like that. Oh, and recently, I received a school email stating I was shortlisted for a school study trip to Korea. Syukur Alhamdulilah. God's willing, I will be away from 26th May to 2nd June.

As for work? Yes I'm still working with Coffee Bean at Downtown East and this coming 12Th May, will be my 2 months working. See, time flies really fast. It's been interesting especially when it comes to serving the customers, those times when my colleagues, manager and I joke around like nobody business and those training session I attended whereby I've met new friends there. However, I will not be as active as how I was during the school holidays because I still have to balance my school, IG, together with work.

On the other hand, I'm thankful to have met such a good friend in Coffee Bean. If it's not for the training that both of us were suppose to go to, we wouldn't have met anyway. We only knew each other for a month yet it's like we've known each other for years. It's not easy for me to clique so well with someone I just know actually. But, I'm thankful to have met such a good guyfriend (or shall i say, my craving partner) like Aizan :) Thank you for being there for me most of the time, entertaining me with your silly stories and jokes. I really appreciate all those. May this friendship prolong till forever yes? hahaha

Hello readers,

Apparently I've been MIA for more than a month. My apologies. I've been busy with UTs(Understanding Test), events and work.



On the 24th to 27th of February, I had HSBC's Women Champions. It was a golf event. Mark and myself was selected by the advisors to be the PIC for this event. I've gotta say this is one of the most tiring event I have ever helped out in. RP students helped out in the innovative session where all the small games are held for public. Standing under the hot sun was a killer. Thanks to Aishah for the guidance and pity her, she got sunburn!

On the 27th of February, Jive help out in the Sistar and Boyfriend Fanmeet in Singapore! Thanks to Annabelle, I was placed as an usher in the concert hall. My job was to look out for those who are using DSLR camera and those who are standing during the concert. So, it was like a free concert for me. It's funny how some of us (the student volunteers) got excited when we saw Boyfriend and Sistar rehearsing before the Fanmeet start. There was also a Thailand singer and a group of Thailand DJ as an opening act. It was a great experience working with Launch group. I would love to have more of such events in the future.





Hellven with his Hi-5 pass

Sistar and Boyfriend with DJ Ken

The crew with the Thailand singer

The crew with Blood of Pynk, the Thailand DJs

On the 3rd of March, I went for Beast Beautiful Show 2012 in Singapore. Participated in many contests together with Hanani. Lucky me, I won 2 pairs of tickets from 2 different contest. One was from KTO (Korea Tourism Organization) and the other was from TeensMag.





I end my year 1 of poly about 3-4 weeks ago. So, currently, I'm having my holidays and I'm working part time at Coffee Bean. I know it's a little shocking because I used to tell myself that I wouldn't want to work in F&B. I applied for more than 10 part time jobs. Those who got back to me were mostly some business people who need some part timers except for coffee bean. So, I accepted it. I passed through the interview. It's been a week and I'm loving my working environment. My manager and colleagues are very nice and affable. I've learnt how to make ice blended drinks and latte. Still need to get more familiarized with it.


So during the holidays, one of those days, I finally managed to catch up with my beautiful besty whom I havent seen for monthsssssss. Yes, it's been that long. Luckily it was my off day and I accompany her to do her hair and we went for lunch and some shopping. Finally, a decent pic of both of us.

Meetup session with my favorite girls!

Eventually, on the 10th, Arnia, Ferina, Hanani, Phyllis and myself was able to meetup with each other. Sadly, Dina was not able to join us. If not, it would have been a complete one. Yes, as mentioned above, they are the bestest and truest friends that I've grow up with ever since primary school and secondary school. I thank god for blessing me with every single one of them. I would have not know what fun is without all of them. As always, our meet up session was fun and worthwhile. We joke and talked about lots of stuff over our lunch date at Manhattan Fish Market at Marina Square. I am glad that everyone of them is doing fine.

P.s. Even when you're facing the worst of the worst, you know all of us will be there for each other <3

Farewell to Azhar

On the night of 8th of February, Azhar, left for his 6 months internship again. He just returned to Singapore about a month ago after his previous 6 months internship and there he was leaving all of us again. Dina, Ferina, Faisal, Adam, Hakim, Hanif, Taufiq and myself made a surprise appearance to send him off that night. Had dinner at Burger King at T2 with him and his family before his departure. We talked and joked about so many things since we haven't seen each other for quite some times. Everyone is growing but we're still close as before. I hope it sticks this way.

It was sad to see Azhar departing actually. I felt the sorrow the moment I saw tears in his eyes as he bids farewell to each of us. Who wouldn't be sad if you have to be separated from your loved ones for a long period of time? I was glad that Ferina, Dina and I was able to buy him a gift before he left on that night.

Been whatsapping with him together with the others to get to know his whereabouts and such. Glad he is doing fine now at Ulsan at South Korea and I heard his next stop will be at US! Will always pray for his safety there!

Farewell Y1S2 Classmates

Well, I've got to admit that I have the best Year 1, Sem 2 class ever. I would like to show my heart felt gratitude for giving me the best time of my life in RP. Among us, I didn't know I could find my own clique in class or shall I say, the Makciks in class, which consist of Sharon, Syafiqah Z, Penelope, Cherying and myself. Not forgetting the gossip girls msn group, which consist of Willson, Chan Qiang, Bryan, Roy, Muz, and Zhijie. I will never forget the journey throughout the whole of 15 weeks with all of them. I will definitely cherish the moment when we did treasure hunting, running from class to class, wrestling matches, breakfast and lunch together, shopping session, played FIFA, watch movie/videos in class, gossips and many many many more. They have been the best bunch of people that we could joke and laugh about anything and everything! I will definitely miss all of you awesome and most vulgar people! haha! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Depression

I don't know why everything have to be like this. I've been crying for almost every night. February have not been good to me. I've not been happy lately. Every single thing seems to be wrong. Whenever it comes to me, there's sure to be something that will goes wrong. Why do I feel like I'm the one who brings all the bad luck to the house and family? One after another argument. I've been a bad child, daughter, sister and friend. I feel like a trash bag.

I felt so depressed ever since then and I tend to over think too much, which makes me feel like a mad depressed soul.

Ya Allah, I plead and beg you to stop all these negativity that have been arousing around me. I need the strength to carry on with my life. I can barely handle this. :'(

A SPECIAL POST FOR A SPECIAL FRIEND

Look at how time flies. I never regret every moment being with you. I cherished them all. You made my day with your nonsensical act and jokes. It's a blessing knowing you from primary school till now. Even though we are in different school now, I believe we are still standing strong as very good friends. Happy 10 years of friendship, Arnia Noorhaldaha Ramong Wilasti <3 May god bless you always, my dear friend.

A special post for a special friend

Though we rarely meet up in school, we talked lesser to each other, we have our own friends and classmates, we are busy with our own stuff, that doesn't mean you're less important to me. You're still as important as you used to be to me. Happy 10Th years of friendship, Ferina Arriyani <3

CNY Gathering

Just like any other Chinese, my family celebrated Chinese New Year too. We had a family gathering yesterday, on the 22nd of January, at my grandparent's crib.

The Chefs in action

The favorite part, FOOD!

Two of my aunts unwrapping the oranges

Family Discussions

Dani with his offerings

The family "YUSHENG"

I hereby would like to wish all of my Chinese friends a very Happy Chinese New Year!

Hope the year of the dragon would be a blessing for all of us.

18th Birthday Celebration

Hello I'm back again.

I've been procrastinating this post. My apologies.

So let's start off with my 18th birthday celebration which falls on 29th December 2011.

Celebrated an advanced birthday at USS on 17th of December. At the same time we celebrated my younger sis's 14th birthday and my dad's 48th birthday. Gotta thank my parents for the splendid surprise! I really enjoyed myself despite me having heights fear. Not forgetting, a little surprise from my beloved clique during out hangout session on the 27th of December. A big thank you to Dina, Ferina, Hanani, Adam, Taufik, and Hakim for the wonderful swensen's threat.

So, my family(my dad's side) started off new year by having a gathering at my place.

(I'll let the video do the talking ya?)

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150466732361919#comments

As for school? My classmates are the best. They are the best laughing daily pills I have. Having to met them is just wonderful. A few more weeks and it's the end of semester two for year one. I'm sure gonna miss them.