There are times when I tell myself, "Syahidah, you are strong. Everything is going to be fine. You can do this!" and there are times when I tell myself, "You're so weak Syahidah. You're such a failure in life. You deserve all this unhappiness and dissappointments!".


2013 seems really tough. Life has been a tough ride so far and again this question never fails to come across my mind, "Is this all Karma?" It makes me ponder for quite sometime again and again. But then again, is there even such thing call Karma? I thought we as Muslims are made to believe about Qada' and Qadar.


The happiness I shared with Aizan for the past 10 months is one of a kind. I never felt anything like that before this. He make me feel so special. He understands me so well and most importantly, he never once give up on this stubborn and hot tempered lady.


Whatever obstacles we are facing right now, Ya Allah, Let him be my first and last true love. I beg and I plead you. I know I've not been a pious muslim to deserve your blessings, but please give me the chance to repent and slowly make things better.


Ya Allah, beri lah aku kekuatan utk menempuh segala dugaan yang telah kau berikan kepadaku. Kuat kan semangatku untuk meneruskan kehidupanku ini. Aku mohon.


On a brighter note, I'm already on holiday! Its been 3 weeks now. In just a blink of an eye, I'm already done with year 2! Syukur Alhamdulilah! I will be on internship next semester! Cant wait! At least I know I'll be earning for the next few months which means I can lessen the burden off my parents' shoulder, so that they don't have to give me allowance for school every day.

I'm glad I manage to catch up with my dearest poly mates.





Ok, that's all for now. Bless you every soul out there.

Love,
Sya.